As part of Kris Carr’s Crazy Sexy Diet cleanse, I decided to make some power brownies. There is literally nothing unhealthy in them! Hooray! 

But first, here are some pictures of Kris Carr, who exudes sexiness and CRAZINESS!!!!: 






Here is the recipe for the SEXIEST brownies ever!!!!

FIRST, PREHEAT OVEN TO 350 degrees!!!! Sexy!

I can black beans (drained) 

1/3 cup coconut oil 

1/4 cup cocoa powder (or should I say cocoa POWER? Either way, it’s SEXY!)  

1/2 an avocado (or should I say provacado?!) 

1/3 cup agave nectar (or should I say a-groovy nectar!?)  

1 tsp vanilla 

1/3 cup garbanzo flour (or sorghum or whatever kind of flour) 

1/2 tsp baking powder 

1/2 tsp sea sexy! salt 

1 sexy sweet potato! 

2 cups rice milk 

1/4 cup sexed…um…soaked chia seeds 

1/4 cup sex…and by sex, I mean flax 

1/2 cup dried cherries (there’s a sexy joke about cherries somewhere…muhahah) 

1/2 cup pecans (chopped) 

1 bunch of green kale (stalks removed…so the kale is naked, and SEXY!!!!) 

Lots of cinnamon 

Cayenne pepper (bring on the heat, cuz it’s SEXY!!!!) 


Mix the black beans, the sweet potato, the sex, the avocado, the chia, the coconut oil, the agave, the flax, the rice milk, and the vanilla in a blender. Blend until creamy and smooth and SEXY! 

Mix all the rest of the ingredients in a bowl (while moving your hips in a circular grinding motion) until they are crazy and SEXY! Yum! Smash it and bang it…shmang it!

Mix all the ingredients together, like the great melting pot that America is! Sexy! 

Sensually grease the baking pan (9×9) with coconut oil. Pour yummy ingredients into the pan. Bake for about 30 minutes while you contemplate how sexy and crazy the world is. Think about your inner goddess. Think about how sexy Heath Ledger is (was). Think about how sexy the moon looks tonight. Think about how CRAZY it is that you are eating healthy and getting FIT!!! 

Then take the brownies out. If you’re already naked at this point, make sure you put an oven mitt on…ALWAYS USE PROTECTION! Frost the CRAZY AND SEXY BROWNIES with almond butter! CRAZY! 

Cut into sexy little squares and serve to your sexy self and others, while listening to this song: 


Voila! Crazy sexy night. 


J. Bird 






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